Chapter 4 - Bowserish Propositions (TWB)
1987 was supposed to be the new dawn, Eelee reflected bitterly as they began to approach the Castle. Kamek, Bowser’s advisor, had met them at the back gate, and had beckoned them in across the lava moat with disdain - it was clear that they were not welcome in Bowser’s Castle, but unlike last time, the heroes merely refused to leave, forcing Kamek to accept them into the proper castle grounds. Instead, we find ourselves actively asking Bowser, who wants war, to HELP us. While everyone referred to the castle as Bowser’s Castle, it’s official name was Koopa Castle, and it had been under the control of Bowser’s family for eight centuries, when the Koopas rose up against the Clubbas and the Mushrooms, the dominant forces of the Mushroom Mainland at the time, and proclaimed the southeast portion of the Mushroom Mainland as their own. The Clubbas had now all but recessed to a minor northern part of the Kingdom, leaving the two superpowers of the continent the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms. Eelee had heard older Mushrooms speak glowingly of Queen Nefubba of the Clubba Kingdom, reigning from 1917 to 1960. In 1920, with various treaties with the other Kingdoms, Nefubba secured the Clubba Kingdom’s borders for forty years, and ensured peace on the Mushroom Mainland as long as the Koopas and Mushrooms could stay away from each other’s throats. However, in 1951, the brute King Morton Koopa - Bowser’s father - took the throne in the Koopa Kingdom, ending thirty-one years of peace. Morton’s reign would be bloody and brief, as he died in 1957 in a failed assault on the Mushroom Kingdom, with his son, Bowser Koopa, still an egg. Bowser would take the throne upon his birth in 1958 and the subsequent death of his mother in 1959 meant that Bowser was primarily raised by his father’s vizier and chief advisor, Kamek the Magikoopa. As Eelee strode into the Castle at the head of his friends, he felt painfully unarmed as he saw the attitude of the soldiers of Bowser’s army - frosty, so unlike the humidity that pervaded the Castle due to the Castle’s location over a lava pool - the Koopas were glaring at them, looking at them as if THEY were the enemy. Squirt’s assessment was correct. This was typical of the wartime Koopa Kingdom Eelee had heard and read about, and they only had Rob’s crossbow. If only Squirt was with them, and not currently in the hands of a greater foe than the Koopa Kingdom could ever dream of. * Squirt’s head was pounding. Everything, from the tips of his toes to his armpits to his nose ached with a pain, and a fury that he had rarely felt with such intensity. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring up at a dark black, metal ceiling. As his senses returned to him, he felt his back lying on a hard metal surface, and the constant whir of engines in the background, and an airy breeze whipping through the dimly-lit area he was in. Flipping himself over and rising to his knees, Squirt glanced around him to see metal bars ringing all around him, barely an arm’s length away. Standing beyond the bars, however, was the man who had stormed the Mountain Base, red mane flying around his head in the heavy draft. The cell Squirt was in appeared to be one of many spread around the area both him and the man were in. “Who in hell are you?” Squirt shot at the small man through the bars, feeling around for a weapon. He had clearly been frisked, for he found none of the weapons he normally carried on his person, such as his go-to nunchucks or even the daggers he carried under his cape. “Oh, how terribly rude of me.” The man responded, his voice oozing fake politeness. “I am Mercules.” He took a bow, causing Squirt to catch a glance of a person in a white dress beyond him. “Crystal!” Squirt called, causing Mercules to jolt up from his bow, his face lighting up with alarm. As he took a glance back to the similarly caged person behind him, his face relaxed back into the smug smile Squirt was already beginning to hate. “Ah yes. Crystal. She has been kind enough to divulge the information I wanted.” Mercules said, his voice dripping with fake respect. “Squirt Squirt, is it? Born Mushroom, 37th day, 1961? Fifth in command of your team, behind Eelee Erkland, born Flower, 42, 1961, Jamie Nothing, born Shell, 66, 1962, Rob Ector, born Leaf, 72, 2026, and Yoshi It’re’s’ofpending, born Mushroom, 52, 1962?” Squirt stayed silent. The team had never a protocol for kidnapping, but Squirt knew that conceding that much information to an enemy was never good. What’s more, Squirt didn’t know exactly how much Crystal told Mercules, nor what Mercules wanted. Smirking, Mercules nodded in mock approval. “The strong, silent type, I see?” Turning his back on Squirt, his cape whipping in the breeze. “You put up a fair fight, I’ll give you that, but not good enough.” Wincing as Mercules recalled their brawl, the memories began to rush back into Squirt’s head. After he had coaxed Yoshi to leave, he had focused on dragging the battle out for as long as possible. It wasn’t long, however, before Mercules caught him with a vicious blow, fire and all, in the face, breaking Squirt’s nose and giving him severe burns. Feeling awkwardly around his face, Squirt felt the dried blood and the needle-pricks of pain still present on his face. That blow had been the deciding blow, for one shot to the head later - Squirt felt the lump on the back of his head - he had been knocked out and defeated. “I see you remember our fight.” Mercules’ voice prompted Squirt to take his hands away from his face. “I brought you along with Crystal, assuming you would be helpful, but Crystal has already conceded everything I need to know... still...” Mercules grinned, turning around to face Squirt, his white teeth sparkling in the dim light. “I’ve already got this information from Crystal, but please humour me,” his voice condescending, “the location of the ring Reros, which we need from your team for a certain purpose? Where is it?” * Reros glinted eerily in the light of the throne room on Eelee’s ring finger as the four of them made their way toward Bowser, lounging on the throne. Kamek floated ahead of them, casting furtive glances backwards to ensure that they were still following him. Eelee led the way, his steps confident and concise, Rob slightly behind at his right arm, and Jamie and Yoshi lagging behind Rob, whispering to each other. Entering the prime of his life, Bowser was becoming more and more the epitome of strength. As he sat stoically on his throne, Bowser still towered over Yoshi, who was by no means a small man. Bowser’s red eyes fixed themselves on the four heroes, making Eelee feel distinctly unwelcome as they slowly paced toward him. As he felt Rob fidgeting behind him, he knew that Rob felt the same. Still, because he was to be the future grandson of Bowser, Eelee was very confident in their security. Kamek halted in the air just ahead of Bowser, who sat stock-still in his throne, refusing to stop glaring at the troupe, who lined up shoulder to shoulder five or six steps in front of Bowser. To the left of the large armrest, his general, Ultra, stood, wearing his usual green and black uniform, a Bowser crest displayed proudly on his chest, and a hard black sailors’ cap on his head. Eelee gave Ultra a nod of acknowledgement, but the general stared stonily ahead, a frown adorning his usually pleased features. “Well? What do they want, Kamek?” Bowser grunted, taking his gaze away from the four heroes lined up in front of him, and instead fixing his foster father with a questioning look. Kamek snorted, turning his broom so that he eyed the heroes suspiciously. “They crashed a small airship on our runway and refused to tell me why they were blatantly encroaching on Koopan territory.” Taking out his magic sceptre with a gnarled, wizened hand, Kamek pointed it at the heroes, the red jewel adorning the top of the gold hilt sparking, unconsciously forcing Eelee to drop into his battle position. “If I didn’t have to follow your orders, King Bowser, I would have chased them out myself.” The large Koopan King nodded. “This is a bad time for the heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom to be at our front door.” He turned his red eyes back to the four heroes standing in front of him, suspicion prevalent in his gaze. “Aren’t there usually six of you?” His tone was slow, as if he was thinking through every word. “Yes,” Eelee said, stepping forward with a questioning glance at Rob, to see if Rob was waiting to step forward and talk to his grandfather. Rob was not, to Eelee’s surprise, so he continued. “A few hours ago, we lost the Mountain Base - Yoshi, Squirt and Crystal were still in the base. It was swarmed, they were overwhelmed, and only Yoshi managed to get out.” Bowser’s gaze briefly flicked to Yoshi in the corner, who waved. “You’ve put on some pounds.” Bowser grunted at the large man, before turning back to Eelee. “How is this my problem? You got your team into it. Why did you even let Yoshi be in charge of the Mountain Base? Where were you?” Opening his mouth to reply, Eelee was beat to a reply by Yoshi, who had stopped waving at the Koopa King. “If I’ve put on pounds, you’ve put on tonnes, ayyy, zing! Shots fired lmao.” Making sure his displeasure translated to Yoshi through a furious glare, Eelee decided it was best to move swiftly on from Yoshi’s displeasure and swift response. “The point is, Bowser, is that we don’t have the Mountain Base, and you’re the strongest ally on this side of the Sarasaland Sea.” The Sarasaland Sea was aptly named, for it was a sea just off the coast of Sarasaland, which became the Mushroom Ocean, where locations such as Rogueport and the Waffle Kingdom were. Beyond Rogueport and the Waffle Kingdom, however, the world was relatively unknown. It was common knowledge that somewhere on the great expanse of green water was a vast collection of islands where Superior Koopas such as Bowser had originally hailed from, known as the Zaz Kingdom. “Why couldn’t you just run off to your perfect Princess Peach for help?” Bowser questioned, tapping his claws ominously against the armrest. He pointed to a picture of himself above his head. “Why come to all this hulking muscle when you’re the heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom, eternally bound to get in my way if I even try to attack the Mushroom Kingdom? Why can’t your monarch Princess Peach provide you with the essentials to take back your coveted Mountain Base? If your allegiance is to the Mushroom Kingdom, don’t come to the Koopas for help!” Bowser spat the last few words of the statement out with smoke steaming out of his nostrils, and his fists clenched on the armrest. Beside him, Ultra nodded in agreement, the first smile Eelee had noticed since they entered the room appearing on his face. Rob and Eelee cast apprehensive looks at each other. Bowser was clearly in a furious mood, with the troupe being the subject of his choler, for their role as Mushroom Kingdom heroes. The Koopas and Mushrooms had and still have long standing grudges, going back centuries - to ally themselves with the Mushrooms would be a tough pill to swallow for any ruler of the Koopa Kingdom, and by extension, with the troupe, who were Mushroom celebrities. Although they had tried to maintain positive relationships with the Koopas, it appeared those relations were on the verge of being shattered. “There he goes!” Laughed Jamie, pointing at Bowser. “Thinking he doesn’t need our help, or anything... he’s super cool, right guys!” Bowser rose to his feet, ensuring that Jamie felt very small as he took a few steps forward toward the heroes. “Excuse me, Jamie? I was King of this Kingdom before you were even born, and you have the gall to say I can’t function without you?” “Being the King of a Kingdom since birth isn’t very impressive,” Jamie scoffed. “Heyyy guys I got this position through my old daddy-o, but not through my own skills. You. Got. No. Mad. Skills!” Rob took a step in front of Jamie before Bowser could respond, the Koopa King’s muscles were taut with rage - Bowser was known to have a spicy temper, and Jamie was not helping matters at all with his accurate assessment of Bowser’s ascension to the throne. At not quite thirty, Bowser had only started imposing himself on his Kingdom recently, and removing the legacy his father had created before him. “Bowser,” Rob spoke crisply and clearly, without a trace of fear. “We need your help. That is the fact of the matter. As much as we have been allied to the Mushroom Kingdom, we have helped the Koopas plenty as well. Remember Blumered?” Rob referenced the villain who had conquered the Koopa Kingdom in 1984, and led to the troupe first establishing their footing in the Mushroom Kingdom. “If myself, Jamie and Eelee hadn’t helped you then, where would the Koopas and all their hate toward the Mushroom Kingdom be?” His face turning from one of aggression to one of thoughtfulness, it was clear that Bowser was remembering the Blumered debacle, in which he had nearly spelled the end for the Koopa Kingdom. He crossed his arms and stared aimlessly at the wall. Rob pushed his advantage. “If nothing else, Bowser, do it for your unborn daughter,” Rob pressed gently. “My mother. Think. You’re throwing out your old grandson over a grudge. Is that befitting of a King of a proud Kingdom?” The Koopa King drew himself to his full height, smoke pouring out of his nostrils. He narrowed his red eyes, fixing them on Rob standing in front of him, pleading with him to provide them help. Bowser’s claws curled unconsciously as he leaned forward, and Eelee realized what was coming a split second before it did. Eelee sprang toward Rob, but Yoshi was faster, tackling Rob to the ground as Bowser let out a plume of sustained fire, erupting from his jaws at his future grandson, and had it not been for Yoshi’s intervention, Rob would not be lying on the floor with the large man protecting him, and instead would be a pile of ashes. Eelee barely avoided the fire himself, and Jamie, realizing the implications of what had happened, yelled out his battle cry, “Booyaka!” and leapt forward. Punching the air in fury and sending a fireball Jamie’s way, one that he barely dodged, Bowser let rip a primeval roar, shaking the entire castle. “I’m not sure I believe that cockamamie story, sorry, Rob! Do you have any proof?!” Eelee, who had fallen on his knees in an effort to avoid the initial burst of fire, could scarcely believe what was happening. Bowser had lost it. Letting Rob up off the ground and in turn regaining his feet, Yoshi turned to the battle, where Bowser targeting the only hero who had been left on his feet by his initial onslaught, Jamie, who was nimbly dodging, but could not do much else. Rob, his visor cracked a little from hitting the stone floor roughly, fished his crossbow from his back, took out an arrow from the quiver, and aimed. The arrow flashed through the air and embedded itself in Bowser’s left arm, making the large Koopa roar in pain and turn to Rob while ripping the steel head of the arrow out of his arm, tearing out bloody scales with it and scattering droplets of blood across the floor. Eelee had just managed to get up off the floor when he felt something heavy contact his shoulder blades, sending him flying to the floor again, face-down. A weight landed on him, forcing him to the ground, before he felt blows being dealt viciously to his back, clearly with fists. The centre of the frenzy was Bowser with Jamie and Rob, Rob, being the only one armed of the troupe, firing the crossbow arrows from a distance, and avoiding the fireballs. Jamie, unarmed, could only serve as a decoy or a distraction, when Rob was in trouble. Jamie had avoided any hits from Bowser’s fire, keeping a smart distance to react, but not large enough that Bowser stopped focusing on him and went for Rob. Rob, meanwhile, had taken one blow to his mask, enveloping the mask with soot, but other than that, he too remained uninjured. Flipping over and pushing his legs upward, kicking his assailant off of him, Eelee found out who his tormentor was. Ultra. The general of the Koopan army had had no doubts in attacking Eelee. Ultra was part of the troupe, but his allegiance was to Bowser and would always be to Bowser. In his right hand he held a sceptre not unlike Kamek’s, the red jewel sparking similarly to his eyes, which were narrowed in the direction of Eelee. Eelee, completely defenceless, merely closed his eyes and prepared to weather the blow. Meanwhile, Yoshi had sidled over to Kamek, who was merely observing the battle. Ultra was preparing to send Eelee flying with a magic blast, and Rob and Jamie were occupying Bowser with Rob’s arrows and Jamie’s general #swag. “How’s your day today, Kamek?” Yoshi asked, leaning against the stone wall as the elderly Magikoopa floated on his broom. “Fresh and radical?” Because of how tall Yoshi was, Kamek floating off the ground made no difference to the vast gap in their heights - Kamek was still shorter. Fixing his eyes on the magic wand, Yoshi smirked. He had a plan. The elderly Magikoopa watched the battle, watching Eelee get completely blasted across the room by Ultra, the general, and Rob and Jamie desperately try and contain the beast that Bowser was. Eelee flew over Kamek and Yoshi, screaming at the top of his lungs, before nailing the stone wall behind them roughly, face-first. “Ah, not bad,” Kamek responded finally, watching Ultra hare after the injured Eelee. “Wait...” Before Kamek could do anything except spin around, Yoshi had already grabbed the wand from Kamek’s gnarled hands, before hoisting it to the sky. “Everybody, FREEZE!” He bellowed, pointing the wand at Bowser, who stopped breathing fire in shock. Rob took the sudden stoppage of the conflict to draw another arrow, walk over to Kamek, who had fallen off his broom, and Ultra, who was standing in front of a bloody Eelee, upon which Rob aimed an arrow at his face. Nodding in approval, the lanky hero kept the wand pointing straight at Bowser. “Make one wrong move, and your King dies, Ultra. Haha Lol.” The unarmed Kamek merely stayed on the floor, where Jamie was glaring at him next to Bowser. Ultra growled, but did not protest. Behind him, blood streaming from his nostrils, with his nose clearly broken, managed to sputter out: “Yoshi, you’re horrible with magi-” Rob slapped his hand on Eelee’s mouth to prevent the know-it-all from spurting out the information that would hand the advantage back to the Koopas, but it was already too late. The arrow facing Ultra’s face had gone off course, and Ultra disarmed Yoshi with a quick, muttered spell, sending Kamek’s wand flying across the room. The wand glinted as it spun, high, high, high up into the arching ceiling of the throne of the Koopa Castle, and an ever alert Rob dropped his crossbow, and began racing in the direction of where it was going to land. Ultra, his own magic wand brandishing wildly, followed Rob with the clear intention of catching Kamek’s wand before Rob. Jamie, establishing the state of affairs, abandoned his position next to Bowser and raced across the room, tackling Ultra, forcing Ultra to drop his magic wand, where it rolled to Yoshi’s feet. Yoshi picked the wand up, kicking Kamek aside as the Magikoopa tried to grab it, and Jamie picked up Rob’s crossbow, before directing it at Bowser, who was racing toward Yoshi in an effort to get Ultra’s wand. A bloodied-up Eelee, having realized his prior mistake, joined Jamie in keeping Ultra down so that Jamie could focus on keeping Bowser out of the action. Leaping into the air, Rob snagged the wand with his dominant right hand, before somersaulting across the floor with the wand firmly in his grasp. As he regained his feet, he surveyed the scene around him - Jamie was keeping the crossbow firmly pointed at Bowser, Eelee was returning the favours he had gotten from Ultra to Ultra, and Yoshi was holding Ultra’s wand high up above Kamek’s head, taunting the Magikoopa, “You’re too small! You’re too small! You’re too small!” “Eelee, you know how good I am with magic.” Rob spoke quickly, his tone low and dangerous. “Bowser, if you and your men try to attack me, it’s mutually assured destruction. I will destroy us all.” Rob held the wand up high, it’s red tip sparking, as if to prove his immense capabilities with magic. Bowser’s red eyes dilated, and his fists began to unclench, a clear sign that the adrenaline of the battle was leaving his body. Sensing an opening, Eelee stepped forward, letting Ultra up off the floor, trying to stem the flow of blood from his nose. “Bowser, we want to keep our friendships with you. We helped you when Blumered invaded. We helped you, so many times. You’ve helped us, so many times. Can you just provide us with a Doomship so we just have a chance at getting our home back?” Bowser exchanged a glance with Kamek, who had stopped trying to get his wand back from Yoshi. Kamek shrugged, clearly indicating that the decision was Bowser’s to make. “I’m the only one injured here,” Eelee pressed, “as far as everyone needs to know, you handed us a thrashing and sent us packing with a Doomship out of the goodness of your heart.” Seeing Bowser’s eyes widen at the possibility, Eelee knew that his team had accomplished their goal. They had got Bowser’s reluctant help. “Fine. You can have a Doomship.”